Telling Of Our Monsters.. and The Monsters Listening

Edited.

cassieharte

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Today has shown me that those who are causing even more stress to victims of CSA are not going way. The Barbara Hewson’s of this world. She for one, now has her audience, she is now far more ‘well known’ than before she began her onslaught. Not famous in my eyes but notorious and infamous. Sinking this low to be ‘known’ shrieks of desperation to be in the public eye. Would you want to be associated with the comments she has used? Calling victims who have come forward in these many high-profile cases, ‘nutcases, lunatics’ etc. Calling them liars and out to get compensation? I know I wouldn’t.

One of  the reasons some people, those uneducated in the field of understanding CSA, doubt survivors stories, is that the person telling it as it was, reliving their horrific experiences, remember details that some of those listening find hard to believe. They doubt…

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Telling Of Our Monsters.. and The Monsters Listening

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Today has shown me that those who are causing even more stress to victims of CSA are not going way. The Barbara Hewson’s of this world. She for one, now has her audience, she is now far more ‘well known’ than before she began her onslaught. Not famous in my eyes but notorious and infamous. Sinking this low to be ‘known’ shrieks of desperation to be in the public eye. Would you want to be associated with the comments she has used? Calling victims who have come forward in these many high-profile cases, ‘nutcases, lunatics’ etc. Calling them liars and out to get compensation? I know I wouldn’t.

One of  the reasons some people, those uneducated in the field of understanding CSA, doubt survivors stories, is that the person telling it as it was, reliving their horrific experiences, remember details that some of those listening find hard to believe. They doubt that anyone can remember things that happened so many years ago. Especially the details of the abuse.

Well I will educate them with my own experience as a victim and as a Psychotherapist having worked with many victims of CSA and Rape.

Any sexual abuse is traumatic. It doesn’t matter how small others may see the act as, if the person feels abused, then it will have impacted on them and been traumatic enough to embed itself in their memory. Trauma embeds memory. Not just the act of abuse but everything pertaining to it. For myself, when reliving these traumas to write I DID TELL I DID, I had to do so in the night, when the family were asleep. Complete silence and no one around. I knew what it would do to me, or at least I thought I did but was not prepared for the details and everything that came back to me, in the quiet of those nights of writing. I had always had the memories, always been able to box them up and never take off the lids. But to write my story I had to do just that. Open the box, throw the contents onto the floor in front of me and be back in the place the abuse happened. I would become 7 again, even younger sometimes. The memories brought back the smells, the sounds and the emotions of the time the abuse had happened. But mostly, the fear. Traumatic, scary times that were always lurking at the back of my mind until that time. I remembered every single detail and felt as scared and helpless as I did back when I was Cassie the little girl. Revisiting my own CSA was horrific and dragged me back to a time and place I never wanted to go to but knew I had to, to share my story. There were very few books like mine out there back in 2009 and I wanted to let others who had suffered, know they were not alone.

So, as a victim, I know how hard retelling of these nasty evil accounts can be. The reason for today’s blog is two-fold. Firstly to tell how it is from someone who knows and secondly to reflect to myself whether or not I would have been brave enough to do what these courageous survivors are doing today. I hope they will  gain some peace of mind and justice. If the enquiries ever come to an end, I worry how much damage may be done to them when people call them, liars, nutcases etc. Has Ms Hewson thought of that? I doubt she cares.

So, would I have ‘outed’ my abuser? I like to think I would have. Would it have made a difference when I found out who he was? Well yes, it made a huge difference at the time but would not have influenced me not to tell.. I hadn’t heard the word ‘incest’ back then but knowing who he was to me, made the whole nasty situation so much worse. How would I have felt if someone called me a liar? Well years and years after writing my story, telling my truth, I was called a liar. Not because the truth wasn’t believed but because it was the only way a family member, my youngest sister, Anne, could hurt me at that time, through my writing. So I know how it feels to be called a liar, after all, that is what the ‘woman they called my mother’ called me when as a child, after I told her what was happening. To speak out and have to revisit horrors that no child should suffer and to be called a liar, hurts more than I can tell you.

I didn’t have the option of telling openly so I wrote my story under a pseudonym. But now, when I see how survivors and victims trying to become survivors are treated by some, I use the royal ‘we’ and place myself firmly at their sides. This I suppose could make me a victim of bullying by the Ms H’s of this world, but it would never make me stop.

The latest insult is to hear that she thinks ‘people’ are coming forward in order to claim compensation! Well, believe me Ms Hewson, no amount of money could compensate for the suffering of genuine survivors of CSA!  Sexual abuse at any age is horrific and can lead to devastating long-term issues for the victim. Re telling this abuse, over and over to legal personnel, judges, etc; laying yourself bare to the public and putting yourself in this vulnerable place where people call you a liar, insult you and laugh at you, is no picnic. Personally, telling my husband and daughters and the sons of my abuser, was traumatic and painful beyond words. I have worked with clients who tell me their story, showing me the pain and horror they felt, changing in front of me, sometimes curling up in their chair as babies do, becoming that hurt and terrified child in order to rid themselves of the legacy of abuse. No amount of money is worth that.

Name calling, laughing at people, belittling them are all signs of a bully. It shows a lack of vocabulary. But most of all it shows a huge lack of compassion.

Never belittle those who have suffered in a way you have no insight to. Don’t insult those who are braver than you or laugh at those who are trying to be strong. It doesn’t take much to do anything of these things but it takes courage, strength, integrity and honesty to tell the story of your own demons, your own childhood sexual abuse.

Don’t let anyone stop you.

Thankyou for reading.x

 

 

 

 

The ‘After’ of this farce of an enquiry

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Today, reading social media and hearing stories of the CSA enquiry being badly carried out and maybe scrapped, my thoughts are with every victim of CSA but especially those who have already given statements. Those brave souls who came forward , found strength and were brave enough to tell.

I am also thinking of everyone else involved, who had to listen to the depravity and abuse these victims have endured. The police, social workers etc. who have had to listen and record every incident in detail of the person sitting in front of them’s suffering. Of course it is worse for the victim but as a Psychotherapist, I know how hard it is sometimes to hear of the horrors of a child’s life. If the enquiry does not have some kind of positive outcome for the victims what was it all for? How will this affect everyone concerned?

Telling is hard. Telling as a child is sometimes, most times, impossible. The abuser will terrify his victim with stories and threats of even worse abuse if they tell. They may say that the child won’t be believed or they will be blamed and made to believe it was all their fault. Abusers are ‘clever’, they know how hard it is for the child they are hurting, fear and trauma will stop anyone else being told. As you tell , as an adult, you become that frightened abused child once again. All the feelings, the fear and terror and yes, shame, can come flooding back. Suddenly the adult is gone and you will become your child again.

How do I know this? I am a survivor of CSA, that lasted from birth until I was 22 years old. My abuser told me that if I told I wouldn’t be believed. If I told I might be sent away to a place where ‘these things’, meaning the sexual act he inflicted on me, would happen every single day. He also said I would not be believed anyway. I wasn’t. I told the woman they called my ‘mother’ and was not believed, I was scolded and punished and so I never told again. If your own mother won’t believe you, why would anyone else.

As a Psychotherapist, I have worked with clients, who, whilst telling me, shrink into their seats, sometimes almost in a foetal position, their voices become small, tiny and I see the child in front of me, not the adult. Heartbreaking and extremely difficult to hold but necessary and, I hope, cathartic for the client.

Years ago, I had shared some of what happened to me with  a man I fell in love with Peter. He was amazing and helped me become the woman who went on to meet Daniel, my husband. A few years after our marriage we were watching a program about CSA on TV and my husband said that as it happened so many years ago, shouldn’t the ‘victim’ be over it now? I was horrified but said nothing. A few years later, after meeting up with my abusers son, another love in my life, he was telling me what a horrible man his father was and said he was sorry because he knew I loved him. Suddenly, not able to take anymore talking about the man who stole my childhood, I blurted out that he had raped me. There was silence at first but them hugs and I knew it was okay to tell. On arriving home Daniel held me in his arms and said that so much made sense to him now. He understood my life and the things that had happened before and since we had met.

Sitting here, n my study, looking over the beautiful Welsh hills, it seems a lifetime ago. The abuse, the ‘telling’ and that night, but current things in the news had brought it all back. I am concerned, with reason, that others in power, in courts, in the authority services, might think as Daniel originally did. That because the CSA that happened to victims who have come forward as adults, years ago and so ‘they should be over it’.That it should be in our past. Well it happened in our past but our memories keep it in our present. The past keeps coming back to haunt us, we don’t want it but it does.

What if people in positions , roles in this enquiry, who should be there for the victims, feel this way. policemen, barristers, judges. We know Ms Hewson, barrister, has some very strange feelings towards us, yes I include myself as a solidarity measure. She laughs at victims, insults and belittles them and makes sure it is published all over social media. She has no understanding of the fear and terror children like me, lived with every day, fear of being hurt, being violated,being punished and not believed. She is evidence of that happening to these adult victims. Is anything being done about that? I think not. How can we then trust, that the people who have spent their lives struggling with their childhoods, are going to be acknowledged, listened to and believed? I find that very worrying indeed.

I have to acknowledge that people who have no knowledge of CSA may find it hard to believe what we say. Hard to understand why we didn’t come forward as children and I hope this has explained it a bit. As a child, my ‘mother’ did not believe me so I had no reason to think anyone else would. In later years, we, this woman they called my ‘mother’, spoke briefly about what my abuser had done and I knew from her face, that she was not surprised, that she knew but she said nothing.Daniel knew it was true, he had lived with some of the consequences of the physical  sexual abuse, manifesting itself in the woman he loved and married. My daughters Melissa and Lucy always knew but never knew the actual facts, just that something happened to me as a child. On telling them, when I was writing I DID TELL I DID, they were comforting and supportive. All of my family were told, it is only these recent 3 years when my youngest sister Anne came back on the scene, that it suited her to say none of it happened. To call me a liar.Did that hurt?  The people who count know the truth. So no, it didn’t hurt but as the lies have been passed around my extended family, making it hard for me, I know that one day I will put this right, using the evidence that I have. But not this time, because this was only done to point score for a very different reason, nothing to do with my life, just Anne’s own issues.

So back to the Enquiry. If you tell and something good comes of it, it is worth the pain, I know that for a fact. After writing my book, many many readers wrote, either saying how they now felt less alone or that it helped them understand a friend or family member who had suffered. So it was worth revisiting my own horrors to write my story, as that was the reason it was written.

If you tell and you are not listened to, the fear and helplessness can stay with you.

If you tell and you are not believed, you don’t tell again. You lose faith, trust and self belief and keep your horrors to yourself.

If you are laughed at, belittled, insulted, as is happening courtesy of the Barbara Hewson’s of this unfair world, the damage can be huge.

I hope with every ounce of my being that the enquiry doesn’t end until justice is done, until the victims have acknowledgement of their sufferings if nothing else. We, the victims of CSA are the only people who really know what happened and how it affected us and is affecting us. We are the victims and the witnesses and only we can tell it as it was. Our lives, having been affected by our childhoods, are the proof.

Justice needs to be done but I am very concerned that it won’t be and hope that everyone involved has a support network to help pick up the pieces.

Thankyou for reading. x

 

A Letter to The Inner Child of an adult survivor

A reminder of a letter I wrote last year, seems more important today. Perhaps Barbara Hewson would like to read it.

cassieharte

Dear Little One,

In these days of social media and the Internet, there isn’t a day goes by when we don’t read about a child abused, sexually and emotionally. We can’t miss these stories, they take up so much of the press and other media and at times, can seem like the only stories around. When I was growing up, living in my world of sexual abuse and a loveless existence, I never heard of children being hurt in this way. At first I hadn’t realised that I was being abused. I thought every child was treated as I was. I knew I was being hurt, of course I did, I knew that my life was full of cruelty, fear and pain but the word ‘abuse’ I had never heard. Because of this, no one knew how horrid my life was, they saw me going about my life, going to school, behaving in…

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To Tell or not to Tell. There is no question.

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I haven’t been on Social Media very much lately, I have a personal battle to fight alongside Daniel. He has been diagnosed with cancer and we have been and are currently exploring his options. So my time is otherwise taken up with research etc. If I have missed anything from my readers and friends, birthdays et. I am sorry but know you will understand. But my husband being the man he is, has insisted I try and do ‘normal’ so here I am writing my weekly blog.

There has been a lot in the news once again about CSA survivors. Some of it good, good that people are now having the courage to come forward. Some of it bad, because of the fear the CSA enquiry that has been so appallingly flawed and let down, is going to be scrapped. I am not going to write about that because my knowledge in-depth of the last statement is limited as I have been otherwise engaged so to speak. However, I re iterate my disgust at the way survivors have been and are being treated by some who should know better. Insulted, belittled and laughed at by ‘people’ such as Barbara Hewson, is in my mind unforgivable and disgusting and dare I say, criminal.

Telling someone, that a grown up is hurting you, that they are doing things to you that scare, hurt or confuse you, as a child, should always be listened to. Heard, believed and acted upon, keeping the child away from the abuser and safe. Not many children, if any, would tell an adult of things that happen especially abuse, if it is isn’t true. Listen to the language used. Listen to whether a small child would know such things as they are telling. The language is very important. In my work, sometimes working with adult victims of CSA, I always listen to the words used. Not the words they would use today, using the proper names for body parts etc, listen to how they describe things, feelings etc and you will see that it is the truth. How else would they know?

When I wrote my own story I DID TELL I DID , because my memories are entrenched in my mind, trauma does that to you, I wrote as I remembered. As a little girl using the words I have in my memory, remembering it exactly as it was. How did I do this? Traumatic events, cement those events on your mind. Lock them into your sub conscious and sometimes, in your conscious. That is how we remember things so clearly, trauma does that. Some say true stories are harder to write than fiction. I don’t think they are. For me the hardest thing was revisiting places and events in my mind that I had struggled to keep out of my mind. The memories are clear. The events are crystal clear. Whilst writing, the pain, the fear and terror and the humiliation, helplessness all came flooding back as clear as they had been when it happened. I didn’t have to research or make stories fit as you do when writing fiction, I just called on my memories and tried to keep myself grounded enough in today, to write about my horrific yesterdays. I told all in my story, well not all, but enough. All would have been too much for some to read.

People in the enquiry and on social media, question why adults are only now telling. Trauma silences us. Fear does the same. Threats made by the abuser stop us telling. But in my case, I did tell. I told the one person who should have stopped it, should have kept me safe. The woman they called my mother. I wasn’t believed, or rather, she didn’t want to believe, for her own selfish reasons. I was betrayed in the worst way ever. To keep her affair with my abuser , she let me down big time. If my own ‘mother’ didn’t believe me, why would I tell anyone else. It was only after the truth came out later in my life, after my abuser was dead and I was safe in my marriage and family, that I had the courage to tell all in my book.

Whilst training to be a counsellor, a fellow student ‘guessed’ what was in my boxes but I didn’t falter. I was too scared to tell at that point. I privately dealt with some of it, in personal therapy which was a condition of the course, but didn’t open many of my boxes, at that point. Than came later.

So children telling. Today I like to think that the public are much more aware. That they believe that there are monsters out there, not those in comic strips or films, dressed in black with horrible faces etc. Monsters who look and behave to others, like ‘normal’ human beings. Some who are trusted members of families, churches, medical staff etc. Sexual abusers do not wear a uniform, they could be anywhere, anyone. We must all be aware without frightening our children and always listen, believe, act and keep the child safe. Always encourage them to tell you if someone is hurting them, doing things they find uncomfortable. Always give them the listening ear and safe arms to come to. Teach them body safety, respect for their own body and always the ability to say No.

Whatever happens re the CSA enquiry, I hope anyone who has been hurt in this way, as a child by an adult, will tell. It is never your fault. The adult is always the one responsible, they hold all the guilt and they should be stopped. If it happened yesterday or years ago, please come forward, tell your story. There is no question as to the rights or wrongs of telling it as it was, even if it sits uncomfortably to some, no question. Find the right ear, gather support around you and go for it. Tell every time. Please.

I know hearing of some who have suffered abuse, bad language, some who have been belittled and bullied  by so-called authority figures or barristers of law,is hard to read but hopefully, soon, the Ms H’s of this world will be either thrown out or do  the right thing and resign. Telling of your abuse does not always bring that kind of treatment. I don’t want others to carry the kind of burden I carried, for all of my life until I told. It is unbearable and unhealthy. Please tell and Thankyou for reading. x

 

 

How It Is To ‘Whinge’

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I am writing this as a survivor of Child Sexual Abuse or as some would say, as a ‘Nutcase’, a Whinger or a ‘lunatic’. Most of you will know how I came to this conclusion from my earlier blog ‘Time-lapse Victim to Survivor and Barbara Hewson’.

Having been sexually abused all of my life,probably from birth, my childhood was stolen from me in the most unforgivable manner. For the first 7 years of my life, having no love at home, I had an ‘uncle’ who was kind and caring, sometimes generous and fun, traits I never saw directed to me anywhere in my life. I didn’t have the happy times with family, or very few but most of all I didn’t have the ‘safe’. We all deserve love but ‘safe’ would have been enough for me.

The woman they called my ‘mother’ showed her dislike to me at every opportunity and in everything she did. She treated my siblings with love, care and as family should be treated.Excluding me from family trips etc. I knew I was different, she didn’t have to say the words, I knew but as a child, I didn’t understand the why.

There was onetime, when I was outside of the room my mother kept as ‘best’, talking to an aunt. I heard her refer to me as an ‘mistake’. This caused me a lot of confusion. Surely people ‘got’ babies, because they wanted babies. How could a baby be a mistake?

At the age of 7, as a very frail little girl, I knew that the games played by my ‘uncle’ were changing. I didn’t like the things he did. I hated the kisses he kept pushing on my face. It just felt wrong.He started touching me in a way I felt was wrong and I didn’t like. He had become my abuser. Of course I had never heard this term, we didn’t back when I was a child. I was physically hurt, emotionally scared and so after being fooled into thinking the woman they called my ‘mother’ cared, I told her. She at first made me think she had believed me. I thought then it wouldn’t happen again.I thought I would now be safe. How wrong was I! She went downstairs, I heard raised voices and sat at the top of the stairs to make sure he had left the house. I saw her kiss him and say he was to stay away for a while and then after things had settled’ they could continue as before. I was again confused, shaken. How could she kiss the man who had hurt me. She came upstairs and shouted abuse at me saying I was a liar and told me what she thought of me. I was 7 years old. The abuse continued and escalated into regular rapes and only ended when I was 22 years old and married.

I lived a childhood without love and in fear and terror. I had nightmares and day-mares, was totally humiliated and destroyed. I had to create a safe place in my mind that I ‘went to’ whilst the abuse was happening, just to allow me to cope. At the age of 15, a teacher suggested I saw my GP as I was finding it hard to concentrate on my school work. He gave me tablets for the resulting headaches and the pain lessened, I felt more able to work and deal with my life as it was. I had no idea these were Benzodiazopines, highly addictive, why would I? Your doctor gives you medication that helps you cope, you take them, no questions asked. I had these for years on repeat prescription. 25 years later, having tried many times to stop these pills but having horrendous withdrawal, I managed to escape the dependency I had unwittingly began at 15.The withdrawal brought back the abuse, gave me panic attacks that were the nastiest I have ever felt. Brought back the night terrors, the fear and anxiety I had as a child. But I had to come off them, I wanted to and did. 

What a lot of people don’t know is that Child Sexual Abuse, can leave unwanted legacies, things I have written about before on my blog. Symptoms of PTSD, the panic,the hyper-vigilance, the Intrusive thinking, Heightened startle reflex(jumping at every sound), not to mention the physical symptoms, rapid heartbeat, insomnia, poor concentration etc etc. etc. At any time in your life, with the power of Association, these symptoms return. You may think you are ‘over it’, that you have ‘dealt with it’, but these nasty symptoms of PTSD are the legacy from the child sexual abuse and may not be too far, away at times of stress and pain. The past years have shown me this big time. The wicked hoax played on me in 2012, resulting in my own abuse coming back to haunt me and leave me feeling unsafe in my own home. These past 3 years, having been bullied on social media, being told what I can and cannot post, by ‘family’. Having my autobiography taken off the market by lies told to my publisher, nothing to do with the book and losing my publishing contract. All put right now but leaving me feeling isolated and helpless as I did as an abused child.

Now, when I need to be stronger than ever in my personal life, my husband has Cancer, I am hoping and praying that the demons do not return and steal me away from this important role. I am hoping the legacies of CSA will not be stronger than me.

So, the reason for this blog. I am a survivor of CSA. In my later years, I gained a Masters in Counselling and have worked with many survivors and victims becoming survivors in this role, amongst a diverse section of my client population. I am no longer a victim but the frightened little girl who was me, is still there. Disguised most of the time, but still there. Reading of others who have been brave enough to talk, to tell their stories of abuse that has ruined their lives; being insulted, belittled and sworn at on social media, by people in ‘authority’, in the ‘Law sector’, somewhere where justice and non judgement should be present, I am appalled and angry. Not being believed resonates with me. As with my telling the woman who they called my mother, I don’t think she didn’t believe, I believe it didn’t suit her to do so. Maybe the people throwing out these nasty comments have a problem with wanting to believe, more than not believing. Well believe! It happens, It happened to us!

To tell our stories, to revisit the horrors of our messed up childhoods, take  courage, strength and a new kind of Integrity. Calling us ‘liars, whingers, lunatics and nutcases’, might make you feel good but it doesn’t change the truth. Our truth. I can’t take my abuser to court, I can’t face him as he died a long time ago. I would like to say I would have done,if possible, but sometimes am not so sure. It is the hardest thing to do, to tell. I know. Do we need this horrible attempt at slurring our names? Do we need these insults, sworn at us  by cowards and bullies? Do we need publicity that is damaging to our cause? No we don’t and I will defend the right to be treated with respect by those who seem intent to make it ‘their life’s work’ to belittle and humiliate us. We have already been bullied and humiliated when abused, sadly much more affectively than you are doing .We have all been there, done that are sadly still wearing the T’shirts!

It never really goes away. At the time of worry, stress and anxiety, it rushes back like a great storm and prevents us from using the survival tools we have put in place. But we must. We mustn’t let feeble -minded people who have a lack of vocabulary, get the better of us.

So, if you don’t ‘believe’ us. If you feel so threatened and inferior to the brave victims striving to become survivors, that you can’t listen and acknowledge how CSA has stolen our childhood and affected our whole lives. If you can’t talk about us without swearing, name calling,insulting us…. please stay silent. We don’t need or want your cowardly bullying from behind a screen.

To every survivor and victim already bullied as children, now having the same on Social Media by those who sadly can’t or won’t accept our suffering, stay strong. Those who matter believe and know how it is to ‘whinge’.

Every ‘bad’ that has happened in my life, is directly or indirectly because of the sexual abuse. Failed relationships, inability to have proper sexual relationship,becoming dependent on medication to cope. Nightmares, panic attacks etc.All the nasties of the past 3 years because of my need for honesty, is all indirectly linked to my childhood in one way or another.

So I feel I am entitled to ‘whinge’ as everyone else who has suffered this way is entitled.

Keep telling, keep talking and stay strong fellow ‘whingers’..

Thankyou for reading and please comment if you feel the need. x

Author of I DID TELL I DID

and NOBODY TOLD ME.

 

 

 

Lacking in integrity

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I haven’t posted of late, have more personal pressing matters to deal with. But have been sent a great many comments, made by people who in all truth, should know better. When someone tells their story, a story of childhood sexual abuse, cruelty, slavery, everyone should be shocked, touched and angry that children have to endure such horror. Even to this day, after having such a childhood myself, I am hurt, shaken and angry every time I read of someone’s suffering. So many victims, coming forward and to be greeted by people who think it funny to make nasty comments or call them names on social media. Not very social in my book! I wrote once about stories of CSA  becoming the ‘norm’, they must never become the ‘norm’. They should always shock, make you angry, make you want to act , protect, prevent in any way that you can.

There have been stories of police not believing victims, stories of survivors being verbally insulted, abused again, on Twitter and other places. Ignorant people may not want to believe that these horrors happen. But they do. I know they do and so does every other victim or survivor of CSA. They, no we, should be applauded, praised and believed. We should be encouraged to tell, thanked for our stories and for ‘outing’ our abusers. Are we? No.  Only then will we encourage sufferers, that coming forward will help them escape their own abuse.

We don’t tell to gain sympathy, to gain publicity, we tell because it is the right thing to do and to stop our abusers harming others. It takes courage, strength and huge bravery and is the hardest thing ever apart from the abuse itself.We need to be believed, we deserve to be believed, acknowledged and supported. I see little evidence of that.

I wrote my own story back when such stories were not told. I hoped it would help any other person who was going through, or who had gone through similar nasty experiences, feel less alone and to enlighten others who knew nothing of such evil happenings behind closed doors.

Some people, the Ms Hewson’s of this world, continue to ridicule, insult and belittle us. I have been appalled at some of the comments made by her. Is she uncaring? Is she ignorant? Is she … well is she real?? Maybe, just maybe, some sick person is using her name to gain notoriety. I find it hard to believe that someone in her position is saying the thing she is. What is her Governing body doing? I am a health professional and I know that if I behaved in this appalling, cruel, uncompassionate manner I would have been struck off!

A few months ago I wrote about this ‘woman’; TIMELAPSE. VICTIM TO SURVIVOR AND BARBARA HEWSON and in my last post talked of her. It seems she won’t go away. Perhaps we should give her no more publicity. I don’t know. I do know that being insulted for telling the truth is wrong and should be stopped.

So a last note to all of you who have been the brunt of insults, ridicule, lies etc , keep telling your story. We as survivors have been through hell and back, no one, not even a barrister such as Ms H. can stop us telling it as it was. Whatever is thrown our way can never be as bad as the horrors we have survived. Well done to everyone who has had the courage to tell.  Stay strong folk.

Thankyou for reading x