Another Mother’s Day …. and I’m Still Here.

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Some of you will remember the horrible time I was subjected to on social media, last Mother’s day courtesy of my eldest daughter and youngest sister. Melissa and Anne respectively. The comments made on my social media, after my message to Mums everywhere, who couldn’t be with their children on Mothers day, were horrible and cruel. But that was just the beginning. Not satisfied with hurting me in such a nasty way, they then contacted my publisher with lies, that the publisher knew were lies, and tried hard to have my book I DID TELL I DID off the market. The publisher being afraid of litigation as these two women threatened to take it to the law, cancelled my publishing contract and took the book down.For those who don’t know, this was nothing about the content of the book, it had been out for 7 years at that time and was a bestseller. All the family had a copy, except Anne but she had read or seen Tom’s copy when it was published. No this was a private vendetta, to hurt me and ruin my reputation. It went on way past last March, almost ruining Lucy’s wedding and making me very ill. But I didn’t let it beat me. I couldn’t.I found a publisher who gave I DID TELL a whole new look, wrote the reason for the 2nd edition inside of the book and I DID TELL is back where it belongs .On sale and helping other victims of CSA.

These past three years have been the worst of my entire adult life. First the Jade Wood saga, that left me very low and back where I was, emotionally as a child. Just getting over that and looking forward to a new addition to our family, the little girl Melisssa  was adopting, a new grand daughter , Melissa shut me out of her life. Family say it was because I had done my job, helped her with the adoption formalities and she didn’t need me anymore. But I think it has more to do with her aunt Anne having surfaced after 40 years, so I was discarded. She is sadly, more like her aunt and the woman they called my mother, than is good. I thought life had tested me enough but no. Lucy had a miscarriage and then last year, just as I was trying hard to ignore the nasties and recover, Daniel was diagnosed with cancer. So I would have liked to write this blog as a success, a happy blog but life is still very hard. The other worry in my life is Jack. He is in rehabilitation, having been stuck by a rare virus and is learning to walk all over again. But today, he managed to ring me, and say Happy Mother’s day Mum’. A really lovely surprise.  I will hold on to that. A really good ‘in-between’. So life has been a bit hard and my health has also taken a turn that is being investigated. Hence why I am not on here very much.

Please don’t think I feel sorry for myself, things are hard for everyone at times, but it just seems sometimes, that we become overwhelmed by circumstances and things that Life throws at us.

So one year on and as the title says, in spite of numerous attempts to bring me down, I am still here. Still helping other CSA victims as much as I can but not currently writing very much. I have begun a self help book for victims and another book, in my own name for cancer sufferers. So trying to do a little bit.

I am sorry for all the messages and birthdays I have missed, need a bit of normality back but that seems an awful long way off.

I just want to Thank you all for supporting me, back last year and since and for all your emails and messages that I haven’t had time to reply to. Hopefully I will very soon.

Mother’s day is always hard for me, always has been. Losing Jack it was always going to be a difficult day but the girls, when small always tried their best to comfort me. I have had 4 babies, two daughter s and two sons. Melissa has shut me out of her life so today is hard and I just hope she is having a good Mother’s day with her children, all of them. Lucy came round and spoilt me, Jack called me, so I am very lucky. But I still think about my baby son , born sleeping all those years ago, with sadness and regret.

I hope you all had a good day. Enjoy your children, they grow up way too fast. For those who lost children, for whatever reason, I send you love. For those who are grieving their mums, I send you hugs. I don’t do that but grieve my besties’s mum on days like today.

Be back soon. Thanks for reading xx

 

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