Hi everyone, so sorry not to have blogged for a while. Life has been tumultuous to say the least!
This week is a blog of 2 halves.
When last year ended most of us were glad and looked forward to a new and better year. Well my year has not started well at all. As some of you know, Daniel has Prostate cancer and is having surgery to remove it. I blog my journey in my own name and those who know it, can read it there. The Robotic operation is this Thursday and we are going to Cardiff as that is the only hospital in Wales where this surgery is performed. It will take around 5 hours and I will wait, with Lucy, at the hospital. Nerve wracking I know. His recovery, as long as they can remove it all will take around 6 weeks. We have put plans into place for the ponies and other work that is usually his, stopping him from doing anything is not a task I look forward to .I am terrified and angry that the past few years have been stolen from us as a family, firstly by Jade Wood and then by the horrid ‘family’ stuff.
I have waned between being terrified, angry, helpless and okay for weeks. He is my rock, my life and the thought of anything going wrong is unbearable, so I won’t go there.
Some of you will know that last year, the nasties from my daughter Melissa and sister Anne, saw me having to find another publisher for I DID TELL I DID,(amongst other evil things) which I did and the book is still selling. It saw my reputation, name and character assassinated by these ‘family’ all because of my need to be honest. Nothing to do with the books contents, just a private cruel vendetta against me for their own reasons. I struggled through this but had huge support from social media. This rendered me lower than at any point in my adult life.During this time and the following months, Melissa befriended Tom my brother, her uncle,someone whom she had had nothing to do with for around 30 years. She and Anne maligned me, told lies about me and made up horrendous stories to anyone who would listen. I was not in a position to challenge any of this as I live 8 hours away from any of the people involved, because I couldn’t tell the truth of what had happened, their lies were believed. They did what the woman they called my mother did often to me, alienated the rest of my family with their lies. I tried to tell Tom that they were not to be trusted but he trusted them. I won’t go into the whole sordid story of which I am ashamed of my daughter but she has betrayed him in a way that is unforgivable. Tom has been told he is terminally ill and only has a few months left and this has broken my heart. He needs Melissa to honour an agreement made between them. Melissa and Ann have let him down in a way not even an enemy would find easy to do. I have spoken with my brother at great length about this as he is so hurt and worried at a time he doesn’t need it.He said he trusted Melissa because she was my daughter and he knew he could trust me. But it is not a case of ‘like mother like daughter’. She is nothing like me, some might say that is a good thing, but my honesty is something I thought I had instilled on both my daughters. It seems I failed.I felt so guilty, so ashamed. He knows I would never hurt him, betray him or let him down, she did and he has been hurt beyond belief.
If there is a ‘good’ that has come out of this it is this. My ‘family’, their friends, including Rosie Web who wrote that malicious blog about me, now know who the liar is, who the ‘nasty is’. Maybe, just maybe they are now sorry for causing me all the pain caused.
I have am only telling you this because I have had a serious heart scare. I was rushed to A&E twice in the past 2 weeks and they have found I have a blocked artery to my brain, 80% blocked and need to have a stent inserted. Apparently, and I don’t know how true it is but stress can affect your blood flow and your arteries and I have had my share of that of late! No sympathy wanted, just explaining why I have not been on here.
But I am back now!
This second part of my blog is the real season I am back.
There has been, rightly, so much publicity, yet again about organized CSA. Footballers, sportsmen of all kinds, politicians, barristers etc. I am hoping that making everything public will encourage children to tell someone as soon as this happens to them. To have the courage to know that it is right and safe to tell, no matter what the abuser tells them.
I also hope, that men who have abused previously in their lives and felt safe, don’t feel safe any longer. I hope they are quaking in their boots dreading that knock on their front door. I also hope, that now we have such good DNA evidence, that can track back for years, that maybe, just maybe, offenders will think twice before hurting innocent children, destroying their present and damaging the futures and that our kids can grow up in their innocence and enjoy their childhoods.
I am more than pleased that at last CSA is being taken seriously, as it is the most serious of crimes against children. I am sure now, that every child or adult who has come forward will receive the help they need to mend their broken lives.
There will always be that one child. The child who is afraid, has no one to turn to. The one who behind the closed doors of their own homes, are suffering horrendous abuse by someone who is trusted within their family. A dad, a mum, a step parent or like me, an uncle. These are the children who now need our help.
If we suspect anything is wrong in a home. If we are concerned about the behavior of a child at school, in your home, in a neighbour’s home, if we think something is not quite right, please tell someone. Yes you may be wrong and look a bit silly but you may be right and prevent a child’s life now, from being painful and save them from a future of the legacies that CSA can bring.
Please think on.
I am glad to be back, fighting yet another battle, this time for Daniel but will always still be fighting for the victims and survivors of CSA
Thanks for reading x