Childhood ,Fun And Halloween.

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Short blog today as the evil that is Shingles has descended upon me and I am really not well but wanted to say a few things.

The thing that is missing today, in the lives of our children, is the belief in fun and magic. The belief that life is wonderful, magical and full of good things. The news is heavy with war, famine, murder and atrocities across the world. We only ever hear the bad things that happen, we don’t hear of the good things, they don’t sell newspapers or gain viewers. I know more than most, that childhood can be a scary terrifying place to be and the past 3 years, I have suffered bullying and cruelty myself, so know how life can be in all it’s horribleness.

But I also still believe in fairies. Well, no, I don’t actually believe in the tiny mythical creatures with wings who do good deeds but I do believe in the fundamental goodness of most of mankind.

In this day of heightened awareness of Child Sexual abuse and exploitation, a day never goes by without hearing of some horror having happened to a child, currently or somewhere in the past. Yes, of course these things need to be ‘out there’, in the public eye. Perhaps if it had been so years ago, my life and others like me, would have had better childhoods and a better life. But they weren’t. CSA happened and will sadly always happen and the public need to be aware of that. Not only of the abuse itself but as I have written about in other blogs, the nasty lasting legacies of such abuse. Depression, promiscuity, drug addiction, depression and PTSD to name a few. All can be legacies of childhood sexual abuse.

Anyone who talks and promotes awareness of CSA is doing good. Every person who reports sexual abuse or any abuse of a child, is doing the right thing and both of these practices need to continue and grow in numbers.

But.

Sadly, in my opinion, we need to do more. We need to make the world a place where our children can be children again. Teach them body awareness. Teach them body safety. Teach them that if someone is doing something they don’t like that they can say No. But along with this, teach them how to tell you or another trusted adult, what is happening. Teach them what is acceptable and what isn’t. What behaviour is appropriate and what isn’t. How to know the difference. Talk about their bodies, in the safety of their homes and re assure them that you will always listen to their fears and worries and above that, you will always believe them and keep them safe. We need to let them know who they can trust, who they can go to. It is our responsibility as grown ups, to always listen, always believe, then keeping the child safe, always act.

I will always tell my story. The reason I wrote it was to hopefully inspire others who have suffered abuse and to enlighten those who haven’t. I will keep telling, keep educating and hopefully keep helping. One the books I am currently writing is a self-help tool for victims to use to help them become survivors.

The one thing that I often think, is that all the heightened awareness and stories of abuse, could prevent our children from being children, out of fear. Our fears often transferred to them. I don’t think it useful for children to grow up thinking the world to be a cruel, wicked place full of nasty people out to hurt them.We need to encourage them to have fun. Yes of course prepare them for the world out there but what we mustn’t do is scare them into not being normal children. Along with the teaching I have talked about we need to let them know who they can trust and allow them the need to be kids.

I have seen warnings on here about Halloween. Telling parents not to allow their children to take part. Not to allow them to celebrate, play trick or treat, take goodies from people etc. Good advice but not all people are monsters. Not everyone is out to hurt our children. Kids love to be scared, in the fun way. They love to dress up, act out of character and have good old-fashioned fun. Of course still warn them, teach them and then let them behave like children used to behave. Let them have their All Hallows Eve parties, let them trick or treat in safety.

Here’s a thought. What about dressing up with the kids, I did. It can be fun and the children will be safe.Dress as a ghost, witch etc and only visit people you know. Go with your children and bring back the fun of Halloween, together.

If we take the fun out of our children’s lives, they won’t have those times to remember. They will learn that the world is a scary, dangerous place, full of evil people out to hurt them. When in reality it is also full of those who love children, love people and who would never do anything to harm either. Normal people who like to help children to play like kids and enjoy the process of growing up. 

The secret is knowing who those in contact with our children are and keeping our children safe. It is not about taking the fun our of being a child, fun that gives them happy memories in their future lives.

Just sayin’. x

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