Time-lapse. Victim to Survivor and Barbara Hewson

I am in the process of writing two books. One on my Dysfunctional Family, not telling their stories but the part they have played in mine as an adult. Never had any thoughts of writing this but the happenings of the past few months, Anne’s evil and treachery, the effect she has had on my eldest daughter, has made me think the book needs writing, even if only cathartic for me. It may not ever be published but kept within my family here. They both knew of my contract and need to remain anonymous, the reason I write under a pseudonym. In the beginning I didn’t understand this as I wanted to name and shame as my abusers sons had asked me to. What I didn’t take into account was the effect on others in my story so I agreed. Everything I have written about is true, to have taken the right to me having my book out there and helping others, was not their place to do. If the book is written it will be for me. No-one else but me, something I feel I need to do. I have been bullied by these two for years. It stops now. Bullies and cowards have no place in my life.

The other more important one, a book for victims of sexual abuse, a kind of self-help from one who knows. It will I hope, be helpful, comforting, honest and encouraging. I will take the reader through the journey of victim to survivor, using my own life, my strategies to cope and those I use in my work as a Psychotherapist. I hope it will encourage others to come forward, even if it gives them the strength and courage to tell family and friends, off load the horrors that were in their lives, empowering them to deal with past abuse and or to help them break free from current abuse. A book I have wanted to write since I DID TELL I DID was such a huge success. The 2nd edition of I DID TELL will be back on sale very soon.

Today, just before I wrote this blog, I was sent a you tube video of an interview with BarbaraHewson a leading Human Rights Barrister. If I had only ‘heard’ that someone had given this interview and not watched it for myself, I would have thought someone was making a sick joke. I don’t really know where to begin. This woman, this Human Rights legal, thinks it is okay to lower the age of consent to 13! Now I know girls particularly these days, may look very grown up at that age, but having daughters, I know that 13 is too young to make a decision to have a sexual relationship, they are still children. The age of consent is there surely, to protect them! How is lowering it doing that!. Any mum worth anything I hope, would agree. But in my mind that is not the point. Firstly, where are the Human Rights for children here?!? Child sexual assault and exploitation are very very different from a consensual relationship! Abused children, never consent, if they did, firstly would it be considered as sexual abuse? Not by Ms Hewson I don’t think!

She talks about the after math of the Jimmy Saville nasty saga and she thinks that people like Stewart Hall should not have been charged with sexual assault. How, I wonder, would she feel if a male put his hand up her skirt, patted her breast etc. when she was a young woman! Outraged I would hope but am not sure listening to her, as she might not have thought it to be wrong. When I was a young girl, yes men patted your behind, maybe, but in a friendly cheeky manner, we all knew when it was something else. Like bullying, if a person feels they were sexually assaulted or abused, then they were.At one point she laughed and was questioned, if she found it funny. I agree and always have said, that some who have come forward claiming abuse, might be exaggerating or even lying. I would never have said this before 2012 but having been caught up in  nasty hoax that lasted 6 months at the hands of one Jade Wood, I know that this happens but it is rare.. But the cases she talks about, all if not most, would have been genuine victims. It is not something a person does easily.People who cry rape or CSA and are lying, belittle the genuine victims and make the job so much harder for those helping people who come forward.

She says at another point, historical abuse should be left where it is , in the past. That investigating people who are dead, JS for example, is useless and a waste of time. She also says, that they, the victims of abuse ,should have come forward before, when the abuser was alive I suppose she means. She obviously knows nothing of the pain, hurt, fear and trauma that child victims suffer, almost all of their lives. The whole reason abusers ‘get away ‘ with the abuse at the time,is that the child is afraid and is helpless. They often don’t tell at all. The Jimmy Saville nasty, has allowed many to tell who couldn’t before. Telling is risky, is scary, terrifying and brave. She knows nothing. She misses the point completely here. Victims of abuse, if they come forward and disclose what happened, need to be believed, to have something done, their abuse acknowledged and support in coming to terms with it all. The fact that the abuser is dead, makes no difference , is incidental to them being able to offload the terrors and move on with hopefully a better life. Would I have taken my abuser to court if he had been alive? Too right I would! Would I consider it now? No. I can’t now stand in front of him and see the fear he subjected me to and that would be my reason for facing him before. It would only hurt those in his family, who are very dear to me  now and I wouldn’t want that.

We don’t want or need people like this barrister, anywhere any changes of the law thank you.

If you agree with her feelings and thoughts, I won’t apologise but would feel sad for you. I hope no one agrees. Please leave comments if you feel you want to . All are appreciated.

Don’t forget to look out for my books and please leave honest reviews on Amazon as I love reading them. Thank you

And now to enjoy some much needed sun.

x

 

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11 thoughts on “Time-lapse. Victim to Survivor and Barbara Hewson

  1. As a mum I believe that children are far more grown up these days than they were when I was a child, whether this comes from the tv or from those they hang around with I have no idea, I do know that 2 of my daughters had boyfriends at the age of 13 and I made sure they were protected, of course I would prefer they didnt enter into a physical relationship at such a young age, but I wanted to be on the safe side and make sure they were protected if they should. Saying that, the boyfriends were also 13/14 the thought of them entering into a relationship with a grown man makes me feel utterly sick. No the age of consent should not be lowered, it should stay where it is. As for people who say it should be lowered, they need to take a good look at themselves and ask could they accept their daughter of 13 sleeping with a man of 40/50!

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    1. Hi Mandy. Thank you for your comment. I am glad you agree that the age of consent should not be lowered and I can tell from your comment that you are a good sensible parent understanding your girls well and keeping them safe. Yes times have changed but 13 is still very young and I really hope the age is not lowered.. As a victim now a survivor of CSA I could not just let this interview go when I felt so incensed about what this woman said. Of course, any sensible loving parent would be horrified if an older man was sleeping with their daughter. This was about child sexual abuse and not consensual sex. I think Ms Hewson showed a great lack of understanding the difference. Thank you again for your comment. Enjoy your daughters and I hope they realize what a loving and caring Mum they have x

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  2. I have read some good blogs in my time, but I think this is the best. Barbara Hewson has no concept whatsoever of the damage done to defenceless little kids and the lifetime of flashbacks and nightmares they endure. Someone who thinks it should be legal for dirty old men to have sex with a 13 year old child, is sick in the head. I’m getting tired of reading her disgusting comments to people standing up for kids. She thinks her responses are ‘clever’. They are not. They are pathetic and ignorant. If she wants to hold vile views on child sex abuse, then keep it to herself. She personally makes me want to vomit. Paedophilia has been swept under the carpet for centuries, as it is such a revolting subject. That is why so many poor, defenceless kids have suffered the consequences. Most have taken it to their graves. Reading comments from this so called ‘lawyer’ has spurred me on to talk even louder. Every child out there deserves a childhood they want to remember, Barbara Hewson, whether you think so or not!!!!!

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  3. Truly excellent blog, which actually raises the real trauma and horrific sentiments/emotions of such childhood abuse, of which this nation has sought (and continues to seek) to becloud and deny even to the pretence of justice, thereby re-traumatising victims of what surely must be the most barbaric of crimes, against the most vulnerable.

    Call me old-fashioned, but I believe that the age of consent should be raised at least to 18. According to the FPA, the AoC applies to 16-year old ‘men and women’; but people of that age are not, are they? They are youths, simple as that for me.

    Regarding the extraordinary fortitude and desire for justice needed, to which you allude Cassie, an old BBC drama entitled ‘Care 2000’ goes some way toward depicting this. It needs to be said that it’s an extremely harrowing programme to watch, and could trigger victims/survivors, but for those who wish to understand the depth of injustice and barbarism occurring in this country, I would say that it’s a seminal piece of work. This is a link to it: https://youtu.be/v4Qn2n0fdeI

    I can’t help but wonder, when was the last time the BBC produced such a proper analysis of crimes being committed in the UK?

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  4. Hi Clare, Thank you for your comments re my blog. It has brought a great deal of interest and good to see I am not alone with my thinking. This woman is , as you say, not talking clever or even truth but her attitude is dangerous particularly in the role she holds. As you say Paedophilia has always been brushed aside, like it doesn’t really happen. We know that it does. Her comment re historical abuse, not charging people if the crime was long ago, made so angry. The trauma suffered by victims of sexual abuse is life long. Yes we can recover enough to live a good worthwhile life but it will always be there. When we watch a TV program, read a newspaper, hear something that triggers our own horrors. How easy and lovely her world must be. Ours wasn’t and at times, still isn’t. We need to educate our children to be safe, we as adults need to listen to our children, believe and act when necessary and people like MS Hewson should leave her position as a barrister, especially in Human Rights and keep her ignorant nasty comments to herself. I could tell her what historical abuse does to a person, just allow me a few minutes with her and I would show her how very wrong and damaging people like her are. Thanks again for the comments.x

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    1. Thanks Cassie. I couldn’t agree more with your comments and excellent blog. There are so many kind, caring people speaking out on twitter and elsewhere, that it gives me hope that future generations of kids will be a hell of a lot safer than we were. It’s a disgusting subject, and sad, but I think children need to be told that paedophiles exist and that they must always speak out if approached by one. I was assaulted at 10. I had been told ‘don’t go off with strangers’. But he, like so many other paedophiles, was someone known to the family for years and years. Barbara Hewson doesn’t know her ‘arse from her elbow’ where child sex abuse is concerned and I would greatly appreciate her keeping her mouth shut, until she has something sensible to say and without nasty responses or swear words. I find it shocking that this woman is actually a lawyer.

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    2. Barbara Hewson thinks the age of consent should be lowered to 13. Any adult who wants to have sex with a 13 year old child is a PAEDOPHILE and always will be. So many defenceless kids have been got at by perverts and it is disgusting views, from people like Barbara Hewson, that will make my voice even louder. Children deserve a childhood they want to remember. Kids that have been got at by paedophiles have to carry the horrific memories and flashbacks for life. This fact appears to go right over the head of Barbara.

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  5. Hi Cassie here is my take on Barbara Hewson, but first it was no real surprise to me to learn that Hewson was raised in Ireland (like me) where there is a “culture” among some of the legal system to support alleged abusers due to the time delay argument and where some law firms even tout for business to alleged perpetrators sympathizing with them and claiming to be able to get them off.

    If you visit my page you will see my profile photo is an article about the time limit argument which is about my case, and other such articles and items about my own struggles with the QC who was hired by the Irish Government to do a review into my case, he ignored Rape Crisis Statistics and also claimed that Satanic abuse does not happen in Ireland, and he wanted a 15 year limit on abuse cases in the Criminal Courts. All of this is well documented throughout my facebook page for those interested and saves me putting the links up here but now my post about Barbara Hewson:

    “Personally I would not have given this woman the time of day, but seeing as the CH 4 did.
    I had to wonder if she was related to Patrick Gageby SC, who also believes firstly that “satanic abuse does not exist in Ireland” just like the woman in this video believes it doesnt exist in the UK, but she is actually Irish. But then they have probably never been to Dalkey, or Dalkey Island, or seen the news coverage on devil worship in the Dalkey area, or ever heard of the Sarah Bland case (google it). Or more importantly done any research into Satanic Abuse, as did the Rape Crisis Center in Ireland who have official stats on this type of crime and the fact that it DOES happen! (It happened to me).

    And secondly she wants a cut off point for criminal cases of sexual abuse, again just like Gageby does. And argues that “A victim should report abuse as soon as they can”, well, its not as if we are sitting round wasting time, as written about this before on my page, we are battling with mental health issues, drug addictions, alcoholism, teen pregnancies, domestic violence, marrying young, homelessness, poverty, unemployment, and these are only the tip of the iceberg that an abuse victim has to cope with, before we can skip off to report our abuse to suit Barbara Hewson BL or Patrick Gageby SC.

    I wish these people would do some research before they make thier ridiculous views known, or speak to abuse victims, or walk in our shoes for a day, wonder how quick they would be to shut up then.

    Personally I would not have given this woman the attention, you can see her smirking in the interview, sadistic cow.”

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