I am in the process of writing two books. One on my Dysfunctional Family, not telling their stories but the part they have played in mine as an adult. Never had any thoughts of writing this but the happenings of the past few months, Anne’s evil and treachery, the effect she has had on my eldest daughter, has made me think the book needs writing, even if only cathartic for me. It may not ever be published but kept within my family here. They both knew of my contract and need to remain anonymous, the reason I write under a pseudonym. In the beginning I didn’t understand this as I wanted to name and shame as my abusers sons had asked me to. What I didn’t take into account was the effect on others in my story so I agreed. Everything I have written about is true, to have taken the right to me having my book out there and helping others, was not their place to do. If the book is written it will be for me. No-one else but me, something I feel I need to do. I have been bullied by these two for years. It stops now. Bullies and cowards have no place in my life.
The other more important one, a book for victims of sexual abuse, a kind of self-help from one who knows. It will I hope, be helpful, comforting, honest and encouraging. I will take the reader through the journey of victim to survivor, using my own life, my strategies to cope and those I use in my work as a Psychotherapist. I hope it will encourage others to come forward, even if it gives them the strength and courage to tell family and friends, off load the horrors that were in their lives, empowering them to deal with past abuse and or to help them break free from current abuse. A book I have wanted to write since I DID TELL I DID was such a huge success. The 2nd edition of I DID TELL will be back on sale very soon.
Today, just before I wrote this blog, I was sent a you tube video of an interview with BarbaraHewson a leading Human Rights Barrister. If I had only ‘heard’ that someone had given this interview and not watched it for myself, I would have thought someone was making a sick joke. I don’t really know where to begin. This woman, this Human Rights legal, thinks it is okay to lower the age of consent to 13! Now I know girls particularly these days, may look very grown up at that age, but having daughters, I know that 13 is too young to make a decision to have a sexual relationship, they are still children. The age of consent is there surely, to protect them! How is lowering it doing that!. Any mum worth anything I hope, would agree. But in my mind that is not the point. Firstly, where are the Human Rights for children here?!? Child sexual assault and exploitation are very very different from a consensual relationship! Abused children, never consent, if they did, firstly would it be considered as sexual abuse? Not by Ms Hewson I don’t think!
She talks about the after math of the Jimmy Saville nasty saga and she thinks that people like Stewart Hall should not have been charged with sexual assault. How, I wonder, would she feel if a male put his hand up her skirt, patted her breast etc. when she was a young woman! Outraged I would hope but am not sure listening to her, as she might not have thought it to be wrong. When I was a young girl, yes men patted your behind, maybe, but in a friendly cheeky manner, we all knew when it was something else. Like bullying, if a person feels they were sexually assaulted or abused, then they were.At one point she laughed and was questioned, if she found it funny. I agree and always have said, that some who have come forward claiming abuse, might be exaggerating or even lying. I would never have said this before 2012 but having been caught up in nasty hoax that lasted 6 months at the hands of one Jade Wood, I know that this happens but it is rare.. But the cases she talks about, all if not most, would have been genuine victims. It is not something a person does easily.People who cry rape or CSA and are lying, belittle the genuine victims and make the job so much harder for those helping people who come forward.
She says at another point, historical abuse should be left where it is , in the past. That investigating people who are dead, JS for example, is useless and a waste of time. She also says, that they, the victims of abuse ,should have come forward before, when the abuser was alive I suppose she means. She obviously knows nothing of the pain, hurt, fear and trauma that child victims suffer, almost all of their lives. The whole reason abusers ‘get away ‘ with the abuse at the time,is that the child is afraid and is helpless. They often don’t tell at all. The Jimmy Saville nasty, has allowed many to tell who couldn’t before. Telling is risky, is scary, terrifying and brave. She knows nothing. She misses the point completely here. Victims of abuse, if they come forward and disclose what happened, need to be believed, to have something done, their abuse acknowledged and support in coming to terms with it all. The fact that the abuser is dead, makes no difference , is incidental to them being able to offload the terrors and move on with hopefully a better life. Would I have taken my abuser to court if he had been alive? Too right I would! Would I consider it now? No. I can’t now stand in front of him and see the fear he subjected me to and that would be my reason for facing him before. It would only hurt those in his family, who are very dear to me now and I wouldn’t want that.
We don’t want or need people like this barrister, anywhere any changes of the law thank you.
If you agree with her feelings and thoughts, I won’t apologise but would feel sad for you. I hope no one agrees. Please leave comments if you feel you want to . All are appreciated.
Don’t forget to look out for my books and please leave honest reviews on Amazon as I love reading them. Thank you
And now to enjoy some much needed sun.