The Pain of Writing True Stories

Please take care when reading this as it contains some explicit emails from the offender. Don’t red unless you are prepared.

When I write my children’s stories, in my other name, it is easy. It just flows and sometimes I even laugh at my characters antics. A happy, fun time of using my child like imagination, entering a world I wished was true.

When I write articles for Psychotherapy journals or for my next professional book, again it is easy as it is factual and I can use references to make a point. I am hoping one-day to write a novel, and I am hoping that I can again write with ease. It will be fictional and made up so I will let the story take me to its own conclusion.

 

Writing true stories, my autobiography I DID TELL I DID and the sequel NOBODY TOLD ME was so hard. Revisiting the horrors of my childhood in I DID TELL and then again revisiting the horrors of dependency for NOBODY drained me and caused me many sleepless nights. All my true story books have to be the truth.

My first book was a cathartic experience. Although at the time I hadn’t realised this. Creeping down to my study whilst every one was asleep, to write things I had never wanted to think of again, proved the most painful time of my adult life. Revisiting the nasties, the memories that had haunted my whole life was extreme in its pain. But after it was finished and I had processed what had happened to me, I began to recover. I talked to many readers on the Internet about my experiences and listened and hopefully helped them with theirs.

I was glad I had the courage to face my demons by writing the story and telling the truth of my childhood. Helping others was the intention even if only to inspire  others to write their stories. I felt I was recovered and whole for the first time in my life.

Then 2012 happened. Jade Wood happened. After the initial trying to help her escape from a life of rape and torture by her step father, I had wanted to do as I had done before with readers, sign post them and let the people who could help her, do just that. But she was very demanding, every time I tried to do this, she would tell me either that she was suicidal or that she would harm herself by cutting. She sent me photos of her bleeding after a self harming episode. This was all done very cunningly to make it credible. She would be emailing me and I would suggest she spoke with Jen Corte, her ‘mum’ and not me. Then it would go quiet and Jen would email me saying either that Jade has run off or that the men who were friends of her step dad had taken her. This happened many times during the 6 months, the things she told me about having happened to her at their hands, took me back to a place I never ever wanted to go to again. I had nights of no sleep, flashbacks of my own abuse, nightmares and feelings of panic. No one has the right to inflict this on anyone. Especially when they think they are helping you. I became very scared for her at this time and continued to support her and be there 24/7.

Many time since , in the past 2 years, I have been totally confused as to how this evil young woman had me so convinced. I hadn’t doubted her because I had helped others as I said, in similar situations. I wouldn’t have ever believed that someone could make up these horrendous stories for fun or any other reason.This time I felt Jade needed me and I was afraid to turn my back on her. The year before, I had ben helping a young woman on social media who had been suicidal. She had been abused and we spoke many times over the Internet and I  persuaded her to talk to someone in authority who could help her. I was way at a family funeral and had thought this girl was okay. When I came back there were several messages on FB some just saying ‘Cassie are you there?’ I need you”. I wasn’t there for her, I couldn’t be. She committed suicide the night I was away. I couldn’t take this chance with Jade Wood. Her story was so credible, I was talking to her  Mum, her mum’s husband, her best friend Ellie White and another friend of her Mum’s on the net. They all had FB pages and/or Twitter accounts so I believed her story, as far fetched as it seems today. I am an intelligent woman, but I was fooled by her. I spoke with her many many times on the phone and had texts and over 7000 emails in the 6 months, all up until the end, believable, feasible and credible. I was fooled. She deserves an Oscar for her acting skills. Pity she didn’t use them in a constructive manner instead of a destructive one.

Some FB friends have not understood why I was taken in and just how bad the disclosures, the evil things she wrote to me were, so I am copying a couple of them here. I haven’t copied the worst ones because I won’t inflict that kind of depravity onto my friends on here.

Her story was about her being raped and abused by the man her Mum married. Her Mum had died in a car accident when Jade Wood was 9 years old and she lived with David Jackson, her mum’s husband. I have many more emails as I said and hundreds of sexually explicit ‘disclosure’ but this was one of the ones that horrified me most. Not for sexual details but as you will see, from the horror. I had spoken with her that evening quite late. he had said she wanted to tell me something but couldn’t and asked if she could write to me instead. I told her she could. I felt I needed to encourage her to tell me things that she couldn’t tell her mum, then with some persuasion, she would ask me to tell her mum so that she could tell the police.

‘Rosie’ is Jen’s daughter with whom Jade was living. With Jen and Mark Corte and baby Rosie.

Date: Monday, June 11, 2012, 6:53 AM

I’m really sorry I kept you up so late.

This memory is sad.  I’m scared at what people will think about me. You’re going to think I’m horrid.

He got me pregnant. I was 13 when I gave birth, I was only 31 weeks pregnant and she didn’t survive. I called her Faith Jane, because I like to believe she would be with my Mum.
Today would have been her 7th birthday.  Its hurts so much, I can’t see her or be with her. Rosie has the same brown eyes, when I look into Rosie’s eyes, I see Faith.
Sent from my BlackBerry® wireless device

I was in so much pain, I looked at her and cried, he told me not to be such a wuss, then he took her to the back garden where I watched him dig a hole, and put her in. I don’t remember much else after that, I lost a lot of blood, passed out and remember waking up the next afternoon.
Sent from my BlackBerry® wireless device

After this the police were supposed to have dug the garden at the house she shared with Dave and found a body. Jen also wrote and said with DNA they had proved Jade to be the mum In following emails she told me of how she had to plan a funeral. I helped them decide on flowers etc. I wrote a little verse at Jade’s request and rang her early in the morning of the day Faith was buried. She sobbed for ages on the phone.

After this there were many horrible disclosures and then Jade going into labour whilst on the phone to me. I rang off and emailed Jen who was supposedly downstairs in the house, asking her to go to Jade who had locked her bedroom door. Apparently they broke the door down and paramedics were called. All the time Jen stayed emailing , she had told me of a phobia of telephoning, I knew of such a phobia and believed her. Jade supposedly gave birth to a tiny baby boy and they were rushed to hospital. That night Jade texted  me from her hospital bed and asked me if I would speak with  the nurse, on Jade’s phone and say that she was afraid of needles. I did this. The following day, after a sleepless night worrying about her and the baby, Jen emailed to say Alfie, Jade’s new son had died. Jade had sent me a photo of a babe in an incubator with oxygen and monitors and told me it was Alfie and asked me to pray for him. I did. Then I was told he had died. Again a funeral and this time a poem from how Jade looked on me, Nanna Cassie. It broke my heart. She even asked me to go outside one evening and look up at the stars, they would all do the same, just after Alfie’s funeral and say a prayer for her lost babies. How she must have laughed!

A few months on, won’t go into all that happened in between, just want you to see the evil in this horrid story. Jade had other babies, two of which were little girls. One Emily had stayed with Jade for the first 6 months of her life. Dave often used to threaten to abuse this baby in order to get Jade to let him abuse her. Tiffany was younger. Both girls had been taken from her and given to a woman in a house, she didn’t know where it was. She wrote and told me of horrendous things these children went through. I asked her how many time she had seen them. When the police found them, with Jade Wood’s help in locating the house, Jade sent me a lovely photo of two pretty little girls, holding a banner saying they loved her. Who these children in the photo were I don’t know. She stole many identities to make her story credible. Before them being found, she disclosed multiple abuse in the house where the children were and I asked her where it was. Jen had said she wouldn’t tell her anything. Jade knew I would then email Jen and she would tell the police. Sometimes this took a lot of persuading her but she always relented in the end.

Date: Tuesday, September 25, 2012, 1:06 PM

I don’t know where it is. I don’t think it’s far from Stafford, we didn’t drive for long.
I refused to go into the cage, put up a fight, but they brought Emily and Tiffany and said if I didn’t go in, they would be put in one together, and they would have been so squashed. They stripped my girls naked, and pushed them to the cage. Emily said “why Mummy?” And I got up grabbed them and cuddled them. I said I would never let them get hurt whilst I was around. We got pulled away, I went to the cage, and just sat in it. Then they got taken away again.
The big man hasn’t been arrested he’s the boss.
Sent from my BlackBerry® wireless device

 I asked her who ‘the boss’ was.

Date: Tuesday, September 25, 2012, 1:19 PM

No. We had to call him ‘officer’. He didn’t like me. I got punished a lot. He wanted to have sex with me, but I said no to him. He opened my cage grabbed my hair and pulled me to the sex room. He had hand cuffs and hand cuffed me to the bed, then pulled my legs apart.  He put had sex with me and when he was finished he stuck something in me. It was huge and it hurt. He took photos then uncuffed me and dragged me back to the cage, with this thing still in me. I had to sit down because the cage was so small, and that hurt too.

I only ever saw Emily and Tiffany 3 times.

Pretty horrific isn’t it and this is not the worst of the disclosures. Things like this had been in the news the year before, pedophile gangs, girls being held in houses against their will and used in the sex trade. However,I do wonder how I was so gullible but at the time she first contacted me I had been grief stricken after losing a beloved horse after 23 years. I was vulnerable and gullible. The police think, because I wrote about my feelings on Facebook, Wood read this and targeted me. I don’t know.

 

This is just a tiny part of 6 months of entrenchment by this woman. Someone who wrote asking for help that I was willing to give. The Internet is a wonderful place for liars in every sense. There is no proof of their identity, no way of checking them out. I am hoping that when this story comes out in all it’s truth and horror, that at least one person will think twice before being sucked into the life of someone like her. She says she did it to feel loved. She says it was a mistake. One email yes, a mistake maybe. A few emails, enjoying the attention, maybe. But 7000 emails, plus the texts!! No mistake, intentional. If you have done something and then regret it, you can back out quietly from the net. Just stop writing or replying. But to ring someone, time and time again, to sob down the phone seeming distraught. To fake labour?? Send photos of babies on life support, photos of baby’s graves.!!??Not mistakes, cruel cruel evil deception for her own ends.

I am writing this today because over the past few weeks I had put the new book aside. Going back over this horrible time was making me ill again. Re reading her depraved explicit emails was disturbing me and so I had shelved it. But yesterday I took it out again. This story has to be told. There may be, God forbid, other evil people like her out there and I feel I have to warn others.

She is getting on with her life I am sure, I am still stuck and need to break free from this. She took me back to childhood horrors that I had laid to rest. She wasn’t punished in my opinion. She broke her Restraining Order and her lies in defense were believed. What does that say about the Police?

Sorry, if you have been upset by this post but as I said, I needed to vindicate my feelings about those 6 months. I hope I have done that. Take care on here. xx

 

 

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s