Anniversaries,remembering and trying to forget.

Today is a significant day in my life. It was the day, 2 years ago,  after the person who caused me so much pain and fear was arrested, the first time. I had never wanted to pursue this crime but the police did and persuaded me that she needed to be punished and stopped. I remembered that she had told me that 11th January was her birthday and I had asked the police to wait until after this date as it was her 21st, hers and  her twin sister but they wouldn’t. I think, to make more impact as they knew this young woman, they purposely arrested her the day before. The 10th January 2013. So yes, today is an anniversary of sorts. The night she was arrested she posted photos of herself and her friends all over Twitter and Facebook. Driving around in a huge limo and drinking champagne like she didn’t have a care in the world.

What was I doing? Trying to get to grips with what she had put me through. Trying to make sense of the whys. She said she contacted because she had no friends and was lonely. These photos showed a different story. She said she had made a mistake. Sending an untrue wicked email is a mistake, I give her that. But 6 months of emails, phone-calls, text messages and horrific depraved lies , that is no mistake. At anytime she could have stopped. At any time she could have told me it was all done for a laugh. At anytime she could have said sorry, I made a mistake. Mistakes don’t go on for 6 months. She did none of these if I had not received that video clip of her sobbing and naked, that terrified me for her safety, I wouldn’t have gone to the police, I have no doubt she would have continued.

Why am I talking about this again? Why I am I still writing my third book about Jade Louise Wood? Because those 6 months have changed me. I thought the court case would have brought it all to an end but sadly it never. I did manage to prevent this nasty person from being allowed to work with children and vulnerable people but it didn’t sop her hate campaign on Twitter and Facebook. Telling her lies, maligning my name, slandering me over and over. She is not the kind of person to be around children or young people and the Police Sgt who conducted the case said he wouldn’t want her anywhere near any child of his. Says it all.

I have not been well. My husband and my daughter have been concerned. I haven’t worked since this all happened and haven’t really done much of anything. I did concentrate on my second book NOBODY TOLD ME  as it was nearly completed when all of this began and that is now published and I am trying to write THE FACE BEHIND THE SCREEN. Every time I sit down to the emails and try, I see her face. I see in my head the horrors she inflicted by telling me of such depravity and evil that it is etched in my mind. Daniel says I have changed. He says those 6 months did something to us as a couple and he doesn’t know how to get it back. From the day after her arrest she has just carried on with her life. She has friends, although she said she didn’t have any, she has no remorse and gives no thought to the damage she has done to me and my family. So , remembering is all of that.

Yes her life returned to a kind of normal. Mine will never be normal again.

It has been suggested that I take out a civil action against her, perhaps I will. Perhaps I need to. I don’t know. But I do know I need to do something. Perhaps writing the book about those horrific months might help me and it will certainly help others be careful who they trust.

There is a program coming soon about Cyber Bullying and it may take this kind of thing on. It wasn’t bullying in the conventional way but it was taking advantage of someone vulnerable. Perhaps I will contact them and see if they can highlight trusting people you don’t know is dangerous and damaging in some cases. Like mine.

I was a strong professional woman before this happened. I had suffered a great loss the days before she made contact. She must have seen this on my FB page and homed in to hurt me. Is that forgivable? I am not sure it is . She carried on regardless, even when I tried to back off, threats, more lies and the video clip. Is that forgivable? I don’t think so.

So, forgetting. I have tried. I have even tried counselling myself in a way I would counsel clients but nothing has worked. So the book maybe the only way. I don’t want to inflict any more of my sadness and fear on my family. I will work hard on getting through these dark days of anniversaries and memories and work even harder on my book. Then perhaps and only perhaps, I will forget. But I don’t think so.

I am now going to sit with my ponies by the pond and remember those tragic souls lost to the horrors of Paris during the past few days. Some precious quiet time.Putting things in perspective as I do with my clients, my issues are so tiny and insignificant in comparison. But like my clients, they are, today, my issues and I need to  deal with them

Have a good week ahead please and always let those you love, know. Thank you for your support. x

 

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