Two halves , two sides, two every things.

Well Happy New Year to my readers and anyone new reading this blog. As we ventured into 2015 I was so aware of last year being in 2 halves, or rather two differing ‘bits’.

The first half , as we began 2014, I was overjoyed at having a baby joining the family, a wedding to plan and a whole new life on a smaller property. That was the first bit, a Happy. Then, as life does, it dealt it’s blow, the wedding was off, tragically ‘our’ baby was lost and our new life, looking after my grandchild, living in a property that needed less doing to it, didn’t materialize. That was the second part.

They say that for every bad there is a good, somewhere in the world. I hope that’s true because that would mean so many goods were happening all over this world of ours, because of all the ‘bads’ in my own life and in those of others I know. They say, who ever ‘they ‘are life even’s itself out. So that’s okay then!

For every story are two sides. That of the author and that of the reader. In  my own case, the story I have told, and that my readers read, the true story of my life was made up of two main parts, but not even parts.

If you cut a fruit in half, or if you separate a cake into two bits, unless you actually measure the two pieces, they will not be exactly the same size, will they? Well a person’s life is like that. It will never be 50% good and 50% bad. It won’t be 50% happy and 50% sad. It won’t come in equal measure, as ‘they ‘ like to say it will. The differing time span of life has no measurement. When someone says they are half way through their life, do they really mean that? They may say it when they are 20 years old and ,live until they are in their 90’s. They may say it at 60 years old and that would mean they are going to live …… well a long time! No, there are no measurements of time in anyone’s life.

Mine was mainly bad up until I was married the first time at 21, bit of a respite, then became bad again for the next 25 years with lovely happy bits, like my children, in those years. The past years with Daniel have been good, a percentage of my adult life has been good. It was ruined for a long while, back in 2012 by a definite ‘bad’ a ‘nasty’. So life will deal out it’s happy and sads in no particular amounts, or expansions of time.

 

I have also been thinking a great deal, as we do in a new year, of people who have made a difference in my life. In my first book I DID TELL I DID, I told my readers of special people, Claire’s mum and Dad, Steve, Peter and Daniel. In my second book NOBODY TOLD ME I have told of others who helped me through Mary, Peter and Daniel. They were and are ‘happies’ in my life.

Then there are the ones who made a difference in my life, in a way that I know I would have become a different person if they had not been around. My mother and Bill. Who knows what life would have dealt me if I had not had the childhood that I did, if I had not been dependent on prescribed medications for 25 years as told in my second book? I will never know.

In the past few years there are parts that have been horrendous in another way. I set out to help someone and they entrenched me in hundreds of lies, cruel nasty stories of abuse and horror that took me away from everything I love and threw me into a life of fear and pain, just as I had been as a child. There was no two parts here. It was all consuming and 6 months of my life were stolen from me. This will be the focus of my next book THE FACE BEHIND THE SCREEN.

But back to 2015. This is going to have no parts, no halves and one everything. At it’s source it will have truth. I have made a resolution that 100% will focus on those I love. I will be true to them, true to readers and friends and most importantly, something I have let go of these past few years, it will be true to everything I believe in and that includes me. In my writing, in my life and in my relationships, I will look after that little girl who was Cassie. I have realised that I have not done this since 2012 but will give her 100% by keeping these resolutions. Honesty is always best, integrity is so important and trust and love should be equal. That’s my plan!

Happy 2015 and here’s to the truth!

xxx

 

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