Catching up with me.

Well I will start with the good stuff. NOBODYT OLD ME is already No 30 in the Canadian Amazon charts! I tis now out on most e-readers, including the WH Smith device and as a paperback. I hope it will be received well.I DID TELL is also still selling well after 4 plus years so that also is good news. Both of my books were written to help those suffering abuse or dependency and to enlighten those who haven’t. I hope it has, helped I mean. My third book THE FACE BEHIND THE SCREEN, the Jade Louise Wood horror is of a different kind of abuse and I hope that it will enlighten and warn readers of dangers that they perhaps would not know about.

This week has been a week of so many ups and downs you wouldn’t think possible. For a few weeks now I haven’t been well. In fact I haven’t been well since the JW saga began back in 2012. This as I have said before, drained me and brought back all kinds of horrors from my past. A place that no one has the right to send me back to. Then early last year, I became estranged from my eldest daughter. I won’t go into why, because it is too personal but it was and is very painful and I am still having problems coming to terms with that. Lucy was very ill and then lost her baby and again I was poorly feeling helpless at a time I wanted to help her. As a mum I felt her pain and although she is fine with it all now and has moved on, I feel stuck.

This year my health has deteriorated and the past few years have left me bruised and battered both physically and emotionally. My GP says I am stressed and exhausted both physically and psychologically. I am a trained Psychotherapist but physician heal thyself doesn’t work, believe me.and maybe he is right. I feel drained all the time and now have had to have tests to check my blood platelets as he is concerned about my Immune system. I know this can happen after a long period of trauma and I certainly feel as though I have been through that.

Then today. As we rose to a beautiful morning and I thought that would help, we had to call the vet to one of our mini mares. She has an ulcer in her eye and it appeared to have burst. Very painful and my heart went out to her. She will be okay I know but I don’t like to think of her hurting. She is tucked up in her stable now with food, water and a lovely bed of hemp.

As for my writing well, I am doing a little bit but THE FACE BEHIND THE SCREEN, sends me back to the nasty horrors inflicted on me with words, for over 6 months and so I have to keep putting it aside. I will finish this book, it is too important not to be written, so I will finish it. One of my favourite sayings comes to mind. ‘He who has a Why to live for can bear almost any how’. I have that Why to write it  and will find the how.

Sorry if this has been a bit depressing, not mean to be and I will bounce back, I always do.

I hope next week brings peace, health and happiness to all you who are reading this and gives me a little of it as well. Night night xx

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