The good after the nasty.

Well firstly thank you everyone for the support and messages I have had since naming Jade Wood as the person who caused me so much fear and pain. I am still not fully recovered but writing AFTER I TOLD is helping. I am almost finished with NOBODY TOLD ME and you can read this on my website. Writing things down and making them tangible, makes so much sense. I get clients to do this all the time as a way of ridding themselves of issues and concerns. The down side of all of this is that going back over my past is painful. Revisiting my earlier life for N.T.M brings back the horrors and the nasties that were back then. Sometime I don’t even recognise myself. Yes, I have come a long way from that abused child who was so unloved and that young woman who suffered years of dependency on medication and then had to suffer the horrors of withdrawal.Some days I wonder at how I am here now. But because of all of this, having last year happen, threw me back into the fear and anguish, gave me flashbacks of my own abuse, hearing of the ‘sexual abuse’ of the person concerned. I lived in fear for a long time, fear for her and those around her and then fear for myself and my family. I wonder how i could  have been so stupid to have listened and believed. But I was vulnerable at that time. If she had come into my room as a client, I would have been able to see right through her. But she didn’t. But it is almost over now. Two books well on their way, so I will look ahead and not back. In my other life in my other name, as a Psychotherapist, I have stopped work for a while, I don’t feel able to give 100% to clients whilst going through past stuff.On the good side, the reason for this blog, Lucy has moved in with her man. He is lovely, the farm is beautiful and she is really happy so that means so am I.  I won’t let anything spoil this for her or for us. Have a good week everyone, will write again next week. x

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